First Appointment at West Clinic...

Today was the first time that I walked into the West Clinic. (the cancer facility in Memphis ). It was very tough for me. There I go again feeling sorry for myself. I just looked at the people in the waiting area and I immediately felt like I didn't belong there. It was filled with nothing but old people and completely bald cancer patients. Like I said before, I don't feel sick!! It's hard to believe that you have cancer when you feel totally normal. I am really working hard trying to be very positive and to put everything into God's hands. In these beginning stages it is a little difficult, because there is still some unknowns. Until I get my PET scan results, I won't know if the C is just in early stage 2A. Just praying every second that it is.

On the other hand, I have a absolutely wonderful husband that has been my rock through all of this. I thank God everyday for giving me such a wonderful person to go through this with me. My family is been extremely supportive, and have been rearranging their lives for me. My girls are what keep me strong. All I have to do is just look at them and I instantly have the energy to keep on truckin'.  The one thing that makes me the most sad, is that I don't want Anna, at 5 yrs. old, to see me sick. She has a very mothering nature, and will be trying to take care of me.  It's just hard realizing that for the next several months I won't  be able to be the mother I want to be. I do know my kids will be well taken care of so I am trying to block those negative thoughts when they come. 


Tomorrow is my bone marrow biopsy. I hate pain, so I am scared. Big needles suck, but I guess I better get used to needles...right? Until next time.........I'll leave you with alittle inspiration I read in a book today.


"when you are in a difficult place, realize that the Lord either placed you there or allowed you to be there, for reasons perhaps known for now only to Himself."


Elizabeth